Professional Despair

My proposal has not been approved by the academic review board.Sigh...
I know I was told that they NEVER approve someone the FIRST time...Sigh...
Yet, I am sad and despondent. This picture is a great metaphor though..I am going through a bad patch, but I am still moving, and can look stylish, professional and well turned out.And yeah though I watch through the Valley of Death...

Loosing Momentum...I think I need a Pepsy

I am well on the way to chapter four of my dissertation:
I have my note cards for Grounded theorizing,
I have my data categorized, with section tabs, in specific binders
I have drafts of my proposal on CD, thumb drivers and my PC and laptop
I have seminal reference texts...

But I am alone and tired...
I am missing the interaction of the group for meetings, chatroom discussions, IM cross conversations...sigh.

I have been looking at the sculpture of Susan B. and Frederick Douglass entitled "Let's Have Tea" by Pepsy Kettavong. I have gone and seen it in person, several times, and it motivates me. I am hoping to meet with him to get permission to use it for a metaphorical imagery in my research.

Metaphors motivate me. (Three M's...oooh!)

Welcome to the Summer Solstice

I wanted to share this lovely photo from Diary of a Goldfish
As the summer season officially begins, and we are the closest to the Sun we will be all year, I could not think of a better way to reflect and show appreciation and joy for life, love and my son passing Living Environment (9th grade science). Enjoy the time on the porch, back stoop, 3rd story walk up window or fire escape.

The Season of Hope and Renewal: Dissertation Proposal Submission

I have submitted my proposal and it has passed muster with the forms review of A.B. It has been sent onto the Academic Review Board-- I must wait up to fourteen [14] days for a dispensation.
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3
Day 4
Day 5
Day 6
Day 7
Day 8
Day 9
Day 10
Day 11.......

The Season of Doom and despair

This doctoral journey can be compared to a rollercoaster ride, or a the experience of bipolar disorder, without the personal chemistry.

I achieved committee approval of my proposal, only to be tormented in new, and creative ways by the ARB process. I have submitted by proposal packet four, count them, four times to the forms review chick.

Ways to thwart the Doctoral Student in the ARB Process

1. DO NOT tell them what is required on the forms

2. DO NOT explain how to subscribe to the newsgroups to submit a proposal packet.

3. When documents do not meet standards, do not tell the student why they are deficient.

4. Do not send any helpful information in writing.

5. When a student calls, do not provide any information, unless directly asked.

The further I go in the process, the more I understand why doctoral students:

1. Get depressed
2. Get manic
3. Quit.

The Future Doc Wilson: Occam's Razor or the Law of Averages?

Occam's Razor Cuts Like a Knife

I have met my Waterloo. I have now submitted by proposal application packet to the University Academic Review chick FOUR times. Yes, count them, four. You ask why, gentle reader? That is because there are sand traps, quick sand and sinking sand all along the way. This is the desert of Forms Review. (No one tells you about this part, alas and alack.) This is now this game is played:

1. Require items you do not tell the student about.
2. When the student omits something, do not tell them
what is it, only that they are missing something.
3. Do not put anything that may be helpful in writing.
4. Make them call for clarification.

The Future Doc Wilson: Occam's Razor or the Law of Averages?what it is

Fight the Power, Part XX..

As an Advocate, one must be ever vigillant, because Big Brother and Uncle Sam will always try to pull a fast one...
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Action Alert: CMS Trying to Change the Rules for the Nursing Home Waiver!

Background

New York State has prepared an application for the Nursing Home Diversion Waiver Program. This program, based upon funding structure and regulations of other community based waiver program, allows a livable monthly income for spouses of individuals receiving community-based waiver services. Now, the Center for Medicaid and Medicare Services (CMS) want to change the rules, which would force people to choose between a sub-poverty standard of living, or placing their spouse in a nursing home! We need to send a message to the Directors of CMS not to change the rules!

Action


1. Follow this hyperlink to CDR's website http://capwiz.com/rochestercdr/issues/alert/?alertid=8788736&type=CU&azip=14609&bzip=4115&show_alert=1


2. Go to Nursing Home Waiver in Jeopardy. Press the Take Action button.

3. Type your name and address in the blank boxes.

4. Send this message to a friend!


It is VERY IMPORTANT that the disability and senior communities, and those who care about seniors and people with disabilities take action on this critical issue!

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It is the song that never ends
And it goes on and on my friends...

Where Universes Intersect...

As I review my blog postings to date, I wonder what someone browsing this would think? SO many different threads, that seem unrelated...

But I have found a point where the lines of academia and advocacy intersect...

I was reading the Ragged Edge, BAADD Stories and came across a posting that was not too unususal: where is the commitment to advocacy, civil rights and social protest?

Here is the response I posted:

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The core issue is what I am calling grassroots leadership. In my studies of leadership emergence, I am thinking it crops up like strawberries. They can be planted, and take root, but do not bear fruit for three years after planting. Strawberry plants are also very susceptible to frost, cold and harsh winters, and can die off easily. New leadership is a lot like strawberries. There is a need some someone to be planting new plants (IL leaders) tending to them through the harsh weather (funding challenges, discrimination and institutional racism) that kills off many plants (promising people quit or give up). I am studying Frederick Douglass, and Susan B. Anthony around this topic, but I think it will be applicable to a variety of social activism movements, including IL. We tend to put those who take those big risks integrating public transit, creating access, changing legislation, etc. as BIGGER THAN LIFE. We forget they started with no tools, skills, or training in the issues, like a spindly strawberry plant in the Home Depot or Builder's Square. Someone had to nurture, feed, and tend to them over time, to product the strong, effective leaders we see.

SO all need to get a trowel, a watering can and help tend to some plant; they may be the next leader to take disability rights to the next level.
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If you wait long enough, and keep a sharp eye out, all roads lead to Rome.

Occam's Razor or the Law of Averages?

I have wondered why how my Doctoral journey has managed to avoid major obstacles and drama. Well, life, time or something has caught up with me.

My doctoral committee is why one approved member. So, I now have to wait for the University to go through their mysterious alchemy, to select/approve/bless one of the two candidates I have presented. (So what if I did all of this last year? Why should that count for anything?)

I still have to suffer through an irony of having all four members of the committee approve my proposal, but be unable to submit it, because I do not have three official committee members, only two.

The Season of Hope and Renewal: Dissertation Proposal Resubmission

The Season of Hope and Renewal: Dissertation Proposal Resubmission

One of the things about Spring that people love is the idea of renewal. As the grass, shrubs, and flowers come into full bloom, we feel refreshed, energetic and optimistic at another round of possibilities.

So, I have sent off my proposal – for another round of review. I am optimistic that this may be the final or second to final review by my committee. I await the response of He Who Shall Not be Named. Pending his approval, I can then move forward.

technical glitches

As I continue to master the fine art of blogging, I have wasted an obscene about of time trying to import pictures from the web!!! Why is this so difficult? Is my learning curve turning into a plateaeu?

Motivational Frogs

This is a great allegory, used by Barb Forgione in a learning tool on personal motivation. We so often let others steal our air, metaphorically, as we strive to attain goals and objectives. We have to keep our eyes on the prize, and be strong, focused and undetermined.
http://www.lacanadvocates.org/pdf/motivational-frogs.pdf

As a doctoral student/candidate, I know this all too well.

On Frederick Douglass and other musings..

I await my feedback from my de facto doctoral chair-- He Whom Shall Not Be Named-- as I ready myself for what shall surely be my fifth round of proposal corrections. In the mean time, being one who is on a mission to finish by September or in the words of Tony Bennett, ABD (All By December) I push onto transcribing key Frederick Douglass speeches I seek to analyze. If my dissertation does not become a sensation, at least I can say I contributed to the body of knowledge by transcribing Douglass' longest speech into Microsoft Word!

Each time I read Douglass speeches, his various biographies, writings and publications, I am humbled.

Musings of an ABD

I have reached the end of the doctoral cohort course work phase of my journey. Having started out as two separate cohorts, I have experienced a blending of groups that has worked out for the greater good of all.

Implications
The cohort model of learning is the definitive model for adult learning. UOP has established itself as a platform leader in this arena. The ability to learn from peers who are experts and experienced in a variety of fields, and bring various skills sets, and personal experiences to the learning process has been invaluable. The application of theories, models and readings two teams projects and group work provided opportunities for project management and leadership that will continue to have value far beyond this course.

Conclusions
This course has provided a good opportunity to integrate our learning on leadership. It also provided a final clarification of our personal values,views and understanding of leadership in organizational settings. I wish everyone the best in their pursuit of this dissertation. Dr. Jason Berman, who is the Dean of the Business School at St. John Fisher College in Rochester, NY likes to remind me that a doctorate is not a sprint, but a long distance run. There is a Biblical adage:

"The race goes not to the swift nor to the strong, but to those who endureth."

Regardless of our projected, unknown or undetermined date of graduation, wemust remember that to achieve success, we must endure.

Easter Thoughts

Easter is on the horizon. I am looking forward to this day, as it is a family gathering event. Last week my mother was in a six car pile-up, and the only thing that was hurt was her bag of snacks for her bowling tournament! It has given me pause to consider our relationship, and the importance she has in my life. Our time on this earth is not limitless-- we need to remember to put aside petty differences and inconveniences, and to appreciate our loved ones, while we have them.

So-- say amen, and pass the ham!

Jazz, SOTA and El Trumpeto

My son Jerel attended his first Heritage Festival Competition in Williamsburg, VA. You would think he has been a jazz man all his life! Packing instrument, dress clothes, lucky G clef tie (tremble clef for the uninitiated). The 9/10 Jazz band- the youngest ever from School of the Arts- won a Gold Medal!.

Now he is King of the World!

What Tennessee Learned from ADAPT- Free our Sidewalks Now!

My words do not do justice to the Tom Foolery of Tennessee State government, so I have just reprinted the article. (Otherwise, no one would believe this!)

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Wednesday, 04/05/06

State lawmakers don't control city sidewalks Bill would allow legislative leaders to decide which protests to tolerate City sidewalks exist for the benefit of all people — lawmakers, state workers, pedestrians, immigrants, business people, the homeless and, certainly, protesters.

A bill introduced into the General Assembly ignores that fact, treating the area around the state Capitol as the private realm of lawmakers. Wisely, Sen. Bill Ketron, R-Murfreesboro, is attempting to amend the bill to make it more respectful of constitutional rights. A wiser solution still would be to dump the bill altogether.


The legislation was sparked by the protest last month of the group American Disabled for Attendant Programs Today, or ADAPT. Protesters in wheelchairs clogged sidewalks and streets around the Capitol much of the day, making it impossible for some state employees to exit from their buildings. ADAPT wanted to talk to Gov. Phil Bredesen about the lack of home- and community-based care for the elderly and disabled.

As a result, Sen. Jerry Cooper, D-Smartt, Sen. Mark Norris, R-Collierville, and others dropped legislation into the Senate hopper that gave the House and Senate speakers, acting jointly, the power to direct the highway patrol to assume control of traffic on streets, intersections and sidewalks around the Capitol.

Certainly, the tactics of ADAPT enraged many state workers and many Nashvillians. Even some observers, including this page, who agree that Tennessee provides too few options for the elderly and disabled criticized the group for causing such havoc in downtown Nashville.
But giving the legislative leaders the power to declare city sidewalks off-limits to citizens is a solution far worse than the problem.

Moreover, last month the protesters were motivated by the state's health-care policy. Next month, they may be protesting for or against abortion rights or the war in Iraq or a tax-increase proposal or the pending execution of an inmate on death row or a lack of funding for education. The legislation just begs for legislative leaders to pick and choose which protests would be tolerated and which would not.

Several years ago, horn-honking protesters circled the Capitol in their cars in an effort — ultimately successful — to derail a state income tax. Workers in downtown buildings complained that the noise was so loud that it disrupted their work. If memory serves, no member of the General Assembly suggested a bill that would have denied the rights of those individuals.
Protests can be disruptive. There are already laws on the books, however, that allow police to clear streets to ensure the flow of traffic. Metro police and state troopers can work together so that future protesters make their point without barricading workers in their parking garages. They don't need the help of Big Brother. •

Here are pictures from the Tennessean newspaper on the action.

Dissertation Warming Trend Ahead

• Good news! University of Phoenix has decided to let those in the last dissertation course enroll for the independent study course for dissertation writing of chapter four (research) even if the proposal his not been approved! This is a good news, bad news thing. The good news is the process is not on hold, as most people (count -0) have been able to:
• take classes
• write proposal
• have a life
• get committee approval
• have a life
• not get divorced
• go to work
• have a life...(you see the pattern)

The bad news is that for those who have not written their proposal (ie. First three chapters of their dissertation yet) it looks like a long, cold winter in ABD (all but dissertation) Land. If if isn't done by now, five more weeks is not going to get it there.

Also, of the ten in my cohort, only about four have even submitted a first draft to their committee chair. (Forget about the rest of the Gang of Three!) They have yet to:

• have their feelings hurt
• feel highly ignorant
• feel highly illiterate
• experience mid-grade depression
• take to the bed
• question why they put themselves through this is the first place.

Me, myself, I have to climb that last proposal hurdle..my own personal Mr. Smith (like in the Matrix), and I am Neo.

So, now..I don't run, but turn around and battle (ie. make the nth set of corrections and Battle the Matrix for their acceptance).

Dissertation Cold Front Ahead..

It has been almost two weeks since I sent in my recent proposal to my dissertation committee. As the time lengthened, I started to become more optimistic, figuring it has been approved. (I tend to be an optimist in general.) I also got an email form my academic advisory wanting to clarify who all would be on my committee. So, I put two and two together, and got twenty-two. But I then got the cold front from the committee member-- its not soup yet. (Sigh...)

But if life is not easy, at least it gives you some good with the bad. My second article in the SAS (School of Advanced Studies) Post was well received, and one person wants to add it to the curriculum for the EdD program at UOP in Michigan! Hurrah! (They like me...they really like me!!)

Reflections on my first ADAPT Action

Last week in Nashville was exciting, exhilarating, and exhausting! As a student of history, I have read a great deal about Martin Luther King, Cesar Chaves and others who engaged in protests, marching on government offices to raise public awareness on issues of equality. However, it is one thing to read about it; it is another to actively participate! This experience helped me to understand that we have a great deal of benefits living in the USA, but there is a level of responsibility that is required in a democracy. Laws, statues and funding are not written in stone, but are amorphous entities, always in flux. One's civil rights are not guaranteed in perpetuity. Someone has to take on the challenge of following legislation, keeping elected officials accountable to the constituencies that got them elected to office, and seeking ways to make the quality of life better for all Americans. Before I started at the Center for Disability Rights, I was aware of the challenges of people with disabilities. What I was not aware of was how powerful a role advocacy can have in ensuring quality of life, personal rights and impacting legislation.

So now I have the flu from being out in the elements in Tennessee-- but I have gained a better scope of the impact of the work that I do.