Thursday, March 16, 2006

Tales of Doctoral Depression and Proposals

This past few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotion and activity. I am in the process of making changes to my dissertation proposal. Naive me, I thought "How hard can this be? I am a doctoral student. I have made it through various courses, professor changes, unemployment, hospitalization (stress related), various illnesses of family and children...I can write a 100 page paper!So, I get the psychological pimp slap, as my first proposal comes back with so much red (track changes) it looks like it should catch on fire! I take the bed with a low grade case of depression for the weekend. I then steeel myself for the next phase of rewrites, as Conan O'Brien keeps me company.

Second set of corrections- I am ready! I am clear! I have mastered a new level of track changes, even if I still can't master this BOLD software that is suppose to make writing this dissertation and point and click snap. So, I send off my second proposal; I add the plethora of UOP required forms that make up the proposal package, as I am so sure this is it! Like true love on a first date, or buying a lottery ticket-- this is it!Yes, I got the back handed psychological pimp slap. So, I take to the bed again, and consider do I want to drop out of school or not... my angel and peer mentor [Doc Do It] rallies me on, reminding me I have gotten the farthest in the process of both Doctoral Managment studet cohorts. She encourages me to call my committee members that are giving me the most fever and talk it through. My mentor gives me the pep talk, and encourages me to strike whatever deal with the Devil (ie. the committee member who is giving me a hard time) and GET IT DONE!I am a loser, but I am in front of the pack...Sigh...

So, third time is the charm? I sent it off -- AGAIN-- on March 13.

Stay tuned!

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